


Bundle of Joy

by SuperImposed



Series: Kinkfills: Fluff and Misc. Edition [3]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Kinkfill, Stabdad fluff, Stabdads, kinkmeme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1259584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperImposed/pseuds/SuperImposed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Clubs Deuce was a simple man; he never really seemed to need much. Childish and free, everything he did was for fun and for his crew-no- friends.</p><p>Clubs Deuce can tell you the most important, precious moment of his life, easily. The day his son was born.</p><p> </p><p>Bonuses<br/>Clubs is Korean (because Humanstuck!Sollux is fucking Korean. I do not know why.)<br/>It's Clubs and baby!Sollux fluff.<br/>A wild Spades Slick appears.<br/>A playdate with other mafia children occurs. And is sickeningly adorabloodthirst (because they are the spawn of badass mafia lords dammit.)"</p><p>Kinkmeme fill: http://homesmut.livejournal.com/12138.html?thread=24871530#t24871530</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bundle of Joy

There’s a knock at the door.

Not your door at the base, oh no! Slick would be furious if you let anyone in! You’re lying down or underneath or something right now, and that means sleeping in your apartment, which is full of bright colors and licorice stashes.

Your train of thought derails right before the knocking starts up again. Oh yeah! You dash forward and open the door, which protests when you try to open it. You run around, find your milk crate, and get the chain. The person who was knocking opens the door quickly, nearly knocking you off your box.

It’s Geanine! “Hi Geanine!” you say, all smiles. She glares at you in that pretty way of hers and hands you a big bundle. There’s a baby in it!

“This is yours,” she says, taking a drag at her cigarette holder and making you cough. “I’m gone.”

You follow her back to the door and out into the hall. “It was really nice seeing you again! Are you gonna come by again soon? I kinda miss you and-” She holds up her hand, which Droog and Boxcars do sometimes when you talk. You’re not sure why. “- I was thinking we could maybe go eat out again sometime or-”

“I’m leaving Midnight City. For good. Kid’s yours. Bye.” She’s halfway across the lobby at this point, long legs and heels click-click-clicking against the floor as you scurry to keep up.

“Oh okay bye Geanine see you soon!”

She rolls here eyes and steps into a big black cab with a rich looking guy you think you’ve seen somewhere. You try to wave but almost drop the baby and by the time you recover she’s almost out of sight. You wave anyway.

A hand grabs the back of your collar and yanks you back so Slick can lean down over you. You beam. “Hi S-”

His other hand clamps around your mouth. “What part of _laying low_ do you not _get_?” He hisses, smiling no wait it’s upside-down that’s a frown.

The baby starts crying. Slick goggles.

“What. The fuck.”

\------

 

You kick your legs up and down as you wait for Slick to finish thinking. Sometimes it takes him a long while to think! It doesn’t seem to take you much time at all.

Slick glares at you. “Will you stop fidgeting?!” he snarls. Oops. You stop.

The baby starts crying again. Slick clamps his hands over his ears. “Augh, make it stop!”

You start kicking again. The baby settles down. Slick stares, then throws his hands in the air.

“Whatever. I just. What. Fucking. Ever.”

“You shouldn’t curse in front of kids, Slick,” you scold. He glares.

“It’s too fucking young to remember, you’re going to get rid of it, and it’s _Jack_ when we’re lying low, remember!?”

“Oh that reminds me. Why are we lying low again?”

Slick stares at you, and then very slowly lifts his hands, grips the brim of his hat, and drags it down until all you can see is his scruffy billy-goat chin. You hear a weird muffled screaming noise.

You stare at Slick until you get bored, then start paying attention to the baby. He’s so cute! He’s got big wide mismatched puppy-dog eyes and little black curls of hair. He kinda looks like you! Only really young and with no teeth and stuff. You poke his nose.

Slick whacks you on the head with his hat. “STOP THAT. Get the fuck rid of it.”

You hold little Sully protectively. “No! He’s mine and you can’t have him!”

Slick puts both his fists on his forehead and growls like an angry cat. No, wait, do cats growl?

“I’m calling Droog.”

\------------

Droog carefully hands Simon back to you and turns to Slick. “You can’t _make_ him get rid of him, you know,” he says, which is confusing. You cuddle Saul as he continues talking to Slick. “I’ve already got Aradia, Boxcars is probably going to win that settlement-”

“-he better, I stabbed two lawyers for him-” Slick grumbles.

“-and while you patently despise children, Slick, you are going to have to live with the fact that we have some.”

Slick growls and glares at you. You beam at Droog. “Does that mean I get to keep S...S...” your brow creases. What was the name you had? “Suckle?”

You get blank stares from both of them. “Like Honeysuckle!” you explain happily.

Droog coughs. “You really want to go with that name?”

Slick throws his hands in the air and stares beseechingly at the ceiling. “With all the stupid kid names today you might as well be calling him Sollux or some shit like that.”

You brighten. “Sollux? That’s awesome! Thanks Slick!”

“What- No- Don’t actually go with-”

You hop off the couch. “I think he might be hungry, I’ll go see if we have anything.”

Droog follows you. “I doubt you have any formula on hand, Clu-” He stops short as you open the pantry, then picks up a can inside. “Or maybe you do. _Why_ -” he stops. “You know what? I don’t want to know.”

\---------------------

You lay on your side, watching little Sollux (Sollux, Sollux, Sollux. Such a perfect name. You wrote it on the back of your hand to remember.) sleep, little chest going up and down. You pat his hair, gently.

He opens his eyes. Then he opens his mouth. Then your eardrums bleed. Babies are _loud_.

It takes an hour of formula-making and diaper-changing (you even got it on the right end this time!) and jiggling-on-your-knee-ing (which is also hard, because you’re pretty short and even for a small baby Sollux is big), he closes his pretty eyes again. You put him back on the bee-print blanket with a smile on your face, for a job well done.

You get two hours of sleep that night.

\--------------

“-And here’s the rec room, I don’t know why they call it that cuz they don’t let me in here anymore and anyways Droog got all the stains out in the end, and here’s your _other_ other uncle Boxcars, he’s the cool uncle but shoosh don’t let Droog and Slick know I said so, and _here’s_ -”

“Deuce?” Boxcars is staring at you.

“Yes Boxcars?” you chirp.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m showing Sollux around the base!” You hop onto the couch next to your friend, beaming. Boxcars looks into the sling around your neck.

“Sollux, huh? Where’d he come from?”

You laugh. “Oh come on Boxcars, you know this one! When a guy and a girl-”

“Got it. Thanks. So he’s yours?”

“Yup!”

“Cute kid.” Boxcars lets a finger brush one of the baby’s curls.

Sollux opens his eyes, and gurgles, one hand reaching to clasp around the finger. “He likes you!” You approve.

Boxcars smiles gently. “Hopefully Tavros and he will get along.” He pulls away as his stories come back on.

“Hope so!” You hop off the couch, adjust the sling, and continue the tour.


End file.
